The truth about time.
This will suddenly make you realise that you have all the time in world.
As a working mum with 2 small children, I have always felt like a victim of time.
Time is scarce and it’s running away from me.
My daughter was down with a tummy big for the last 3 days. Although I chose to put work aside and spend that time with her, there was a gnawing thought at the back of my head that I am going to be so far behind my work schedule for the week.
I am over 40-years old with so many aspirations, dreams and goals, I have so much going on all the time, there are just not enough hours in the day to get everything done!
I am always feeling like:
My time is limited and precious, I am always on the clock
I am the time police who gets frustrated when things don’t go as planned with my time or if someone else is late
I need to rush everything I do and everywhere I go or it won’t happen
There are many things I want to do, I am constantly feeling a sense of urgency
There will never be enough time to do everything I want to do
I am constantly looking for ways to better manage my time. I’m in the peak of my life, and time is running past me frighteningly fast.
It’s a scary and uncomfortable thought that I carry with me, ALL the time. Especially now as I’m designing my own life, I feel even more the pressure of time - it’s exhausting.
Until I read this book and discovered a way to think about time which has been like a Eureka moment for me!
The secret to transform the way you think about time is understanding this one thing: “You are the source of your time.”
Stick with me here while I explain.
The author of The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks calls this mentality as being on “Einstein Time” and he offers a compelling argument to reframe how we think about two things; one is related to time and the other is related to space:
Time is relative.
This concept of ‘Einstein Time’ is inspired by Einstein’s special theory of relativity that says “time moves differently for objects in motion than for objects at rest.”
Einstein's theory explains this via an experiment that concludes that when an object is in motion, it experiences time dilation, which means that it experiences time more slowly than when it is at rest.
Hendricks establishes from that theory the core learning, that time is relative to the observer.
We perceive time depending on the space we are in at any moment
Hendricks believes that we also need to tweak our understanding of space to understand better where time comes from…
Here is an example that explains how we see the same time differently, depending on the situation we are in:
An hour in scorching heat with no water feels much longer than an hour on your sofa with a loved one. This is because when we are in an uncomfortable situation, we use all our energy trying to get out of that space, which makes time congeal; it seems to slow down as it hardens. The more you suffer in your uncomfortable situation, the slower time gets. However, when you are spending time with a loved one, your awareness flows into the space you are in and time disappears.
“When you are willing to occupy all the space you are in, time disappears,” claims Hendricks.
So, how do we get onto this so-called Einstein time?
To change the way you think about time, Hendricks says we need to do two things:
Realise that we are the source of our time. This means, time is in fact not finite and because we are the producer of time, we can create as much of it as we want!
Take full ownership of our time!
Of course this is easier said than done. I’ve been practicing this since I read the book, and it’s definitely hitting home.
With this mindset, the three days that I felt I was losing in my work because I was looking after my daughter, were quickly recovered in one day of work yesterday. My daughter is now better and I am still on track!
Where to begin? These are Hendricks’ tips:
“Do whatever it takes to get yourself in harmony with the reality that you are the source of time. Once you’re convinced of it, start acting like it’s true.”
The simplest way to start doing this is “complete abstinence from complaining about time.” Eliminate thinking or saying phrases like:
I wish I had the time to chat, but I’m in hurry
Where did my time go?
There are not enough hours in the day
If only I had gotten enough sleep…
I don’t have time to do that right now…
I would say these ALL the time!
A pertinent example that the book sites:
When our child comes to us whilst we are working, asking us to play with them, and we say “I don’t have time to play with you right now…”. Whereas, if our child had come to us saying “I cut my finger and it’s bleeding, can you help me…” we would suddenly have the time, drop everything to help them stop bleeding.
In other words, when we say “I don’t have time” it’s a polite way of saying “I don’t want to do that right now”. By blaming time, we don’t confront the truth of the matter.
When your child comes to you next time asking to play when you are busy, saying “I want to finish my work before I play with you” is a better way to frame it rather than blaming time.
In short, we have the power to make the time we want. And since we are the source of our time, we get to decide how we use it.
This small mindset shift in addition to Parkinson’s Law (work expands to the time you give it) is unlocking a new level of operating for me.
The mindset works. I urge you to try it! Do let me know if you do.
And get the book! It’s the best mindset book I have read in a while.
Love,
Abha x
I added the book to my library list! Interestingly, they only had the audiobook version and no ebook version. But I'm excited to read/listen soonish!
I’ve been trying to change my vocabulary around time. Instead of saying “I didn’t have the time,” I’m trying to say “I didn’t make the time.”
Also, often it’s a matter of juggling priorities and priorities also shift all the time. People also come with their own priorities that throw a wrench in our carefully crafted plans.
I’m trying to be more intentional with how I spend my time but also forgiving. It happens that I beat myself up when I spend my time relaxing or distracted. Not easy to navigate those contradictory feelings.