On the unlived life within us
A book to read if you want to snap out of your own procrastination
As a working mum, with very little spare time, I choose carefully what I spend my spare time on.
My free time usually includes one of the 3 things:
Reading one of the 62 newsletters I’ve signed up for (yes, yikes!)
Listening to a book on audible (this is the only way I am able to get through books these days)
Watching something with my husband (ah, the incredible television we have found in Yellowstone, and now 1883)
Yes, I’m super nerdy and don’t really have a social life but hey, it’s a phase. (Right?)
The above 3 things highly influence each other and therefore my world, so when 6 of the newsletters I read and respect recommended the War of Art to me in the same week (great campaign marketing I must say), I took it as a sign that I am meant to read it.
Finding it only a 2 hour 11 minute listen on Audible, made buying it for 1 credit a no brainer. I finished it in a week, whilst driving to and from work. Since then, some parts of the book have not left my head and I feel compelled to share them.
So here are some quotes from this book that I found revealing and jolting, perhaps they will stir something in you too:
“Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands resistance.”
When I heard the author say this, it struck me like lightening. Especially after becoming a mum, with more responsibility and little ones to prioritize, it is inevitable that things we want to do get put on the back burner. And we justify doing that because of our circumstances, and then develop a resistance to doing them on that foundation. The author labels this resistance as our own fear and self-sabotage in living the life we really want to live.
“Procrastination is the most common manifestation of resistance because it is the easiest to rationalize.”
Ah, don’t we all know it? I’m too tired. I need to defunk. I don’t have time. I don’t have energy. I’ll get a good night’s sleep and do it tomorrow.
“Late at night have you experienced a vision of the person you might become, the work you could accomplish, then realized the being you were meant to be? Are you a writer who doesn't write, a painter who doesn't paint, an entrepreneur who never starts a venture? Then you know what resistance is.”
I am 43 years old, and have perhaps another 20 good years of work in me. What is it that I want to accomplish professionally over the next 20 years? I often thing of this as I feel the clock is ticking. I really don’t know where time is flying, and I fear waking up being 60 and still wondering what I am doing.
In the whirlwind of life with kids and a full time job, we think we have time - but really, do we? What will it take to get past this self created resistance?
“We fear discovering that we are more than we think we are.” Because then we would have to do something about it.
“You must know the difference between urgent and important, and do what’s important first”
How often do we chase all the mundane self-prescribed urgent things to do, leaving the meaningful and important things for later that never comes?
A trivial yet perfect example: I will tidy up the house and then write my newsletter. I’ve spent all my energy tidying up, leaving me with little energy to write my newsletter. We need to learn to prioritize our important goals over the so called necessary ones.
“Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius magic and power in it. Begin it now.”
I have so many ideas in my mind that I often revel in through the success of other people. I don’t seem to have the confidence to make some bold moves to make it happen for myself. Fear of failure, I suppose? “Nothing is as empowering as real-world validation, even if it’s for failure.” The best way to learn about yourself is from failing.
And, the last thing I will leave you with is this quote from the book: “Remember our rule of thumb: The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”
The mantra of this newsletter is that it is possible to design our professional lives to cater to our personal ambitions, whilst still being a present parent. Let’s let go of the resistance that is becoming an obstacle to that.
Love,
Abha