On curbing the overwhelm of November
The Stoic way
November is one of the busiest months of the year.
It’s the month where everything is in full swing: work, school, after school activities, social outings; life in general.
It’s almost like everything needs to be done this month, before we enter the holiday season and the year is over!
Adding to this, in my family, we have another layer of emotional overwhelm as my parents have retired and will move to India this month, after 25 years of living in Dubai.
I won’t deny that I am struggling a wee bit. Sometimes as busy mums, we don’t take the time to stop and recognize the emotional intensity of everything on our plate.
On Stoicism
I often resort to Stoic philosophy when I’m trying to rationalize or cope with overwhelm.
Stoicism is an ancient Greco-Roman philosophy that I came across many years ago when I read a letter on The Shortness of Life by Stoic philosopher Seneca. This lead me to reading the book Letters from a Stoic, and I was hooked.
Author and writer Ryan Holiday is a modern day Stoic and has written books to help understand it. He calls Stoicism “….a tool in the pursuit of self-mastery, perseverance, and wisdom: something one uses to live a great life.”
Stoicism is often equated to being emotionless but I don’t think it’s that at all. Here is a 5 minute summary on it.
“For a human being to feel stress is normal—if he’s living a normal human life. And if it’s normal, how can it be bad?” — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
I recently read that “stress is more your perception of what is happening”. It is “your reaction to what you perceive is happening”.
There is a line in the movie ‘Bridge of Spies’, where Tom Hanks asks the Russian spy on various occasions if he was worried about the possibility of not being recognized as Russian; about being electrocuted and about being gunned down - the answer to which always was a Stoic….“would it help?”
Of course, worrying wouldn’t help.
When you think of it that way you realize that they way you react to overwhelm is in your control. And worrying about what is not in your control, is well, pointless.
You can watch the clips from Bridge of Spies, here:
So with that context, here are a few things I am trying to do to curb my overwhelm this month:
Keeping perspective: Reminding myself that my worries are small and really not a big deal in the big picture of things.
Gratitude: Reminding myself of all the things I am blessed with.
Saying no: Being okay with saying no to whatever is outside of my bandwidth at the moment, no matter how much I may want to do it.
Having lazer focus: Lazer focussing my efforts on what I must do and cannot delay; and leaving everything else for another time.
Being present with my kids: Usually when we are overwhelmed, we tend to take it out on our loved ones, children included. The kids don’t deserve it and it makes you feel worse So, when it’s time to be with my kids, I am trying my best to put everything else aside, and be present with them.
Prioritizing rest: Overwhelm gets worse when you are tired. Rest is a game changer.
A good cry: Nothing is as therapeutic as a good cry. I had one last night and feel much better today. Sometimes all you need is a cry.
If you are feeling overwhelm this November like I am, I hope this helped you.
If there is anything you do to help your overwhelm, please share it here so we can all learn from you too :)
Have a great week.
Love,
Abha x
Very inspiring! Thanks Abha