On choosing your focus
Using the 25/5 rule
If you are anything like me, you have a big list of things you’d like to do. Goals, aspirations, dreams, projects, hobbies.
And as you get older and more aware that you have limited time to do everything, the list grows.
Here is my current list, divided by category:
Growth:
Start my own business
Be a professional writer
Create passive income streams
Find remote, work from anywhere opportunities
Start a Youtube channel
Do a course in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)
Upgrade my technical skills (SEO, web design, video editing, web3, AI, no-code)
Yoga Teacher Training (300 hours!)
Hobbies:
Journal
Hold a handstand for 1 minute
Learn to surf
Learn to play the guitar
Learn to play the ukulele (only because it’s meant to be easier than the guitar)
Read a book a month
Keep up with my Spanish
Brush up on my Arabic
Be a proactive mum:
Be a present parent
Facilitate my kids to learn as much as possible: tap dancing, horse riding, ballet, swimming, jujitsu, gymnastics, capoeira, football, art
Read and draw with my kids
Read books on being a better parent
Health:
Regular yoga practice
Meditate
Mindset work
Journal
Get as fit as I can be. I want a flat tummy too! It’s vain, but true; and it’s now or never
Activities:
Go camping with my family
Get back into stand-up paddle and wake-boarding
Start playing tennis again
Learn silk (I still haven’t let go of my desire to be an aerial artist lol)
Run a half marathon
Go back to dancing salsa, tango and contemporary
Travel Asia, Africa and South America
They say that as you get older, your desire to do things wanes. Not quite true for me. Do you feel the same?
How do you choose what to focus on?
Obviously, I cannot do everything. Our time is limited, the mum fatigue is real, and attempting to do everything means overwhelm and not doing anything properly.
But how do I choose?
“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.” - Warren Buffett
There is a method (yaay!). It’s Warren Buffett’s 25/5 method. It’s really famous, although fictitious. But still a method to work with!
In a nutshell this is it:
Buffett’s (fictitious) 25/5 rule
Step 1. List your top 25 (or more!) life goals, professional goals or aspirations - your bucket list basically. Everything you want for your life that is important for you.
Step 2. Circle the 5 most important goals that are the closest to your soul. These are your highest priorities to focus on.
Step 3. Cross off the other 20 goals you have listed and put them away in a “avoid-at-all-costs” list. Yes, “avoid-at-all-costs” list. I bet you’ve never made one of those before!
This doesn’t mean that you will never do them; just put them aside to revisit when you have achieved any of the 5 goals you set out to achieve.
Turning your Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) to Joy of Missing Out (JOMO)
Putting aside goals important to you can give you FOMO. Our mood plays a role too. How are we meant to ignore our ‘avoid-at-all-costs’ list when our mood gravitates towards something on that list?
I guess we have to choose our top 5 goals carefully. Then take the decision to focus on only those and fully commit to them. And start taking joy in the fact that we are actually on track to achieve some of our most important goals.
Point to ponder: The ‘be a proactive mum’ list is a non-negotiable for me; and that already has 4 things on it. Does this mean I need to compromise on this list?
I’m not sure. This exercise is easier said than done.
My most important takeaway from this method is that the 25/5 exercise is teaching us to choose to say no to everything that doesn’t move us towards achieving what is important to us. It compels us to eliminate and minimize distractions so that we can actually achieve something, rather than try to achieve something.
“People think focus means saying yes to the things you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully.” - Steve Jobs
Confession
I really do not know how to do this when it comes to all the things I want to learn and achieve. As a result, I end up having a whole bunch of half-baked projects going on at all times.
I really want this to change, for which I need a system. I am going to trust this 25/5 exercise, and start with it.
I will say though that I have become very good at saying no to social invitations, with no FOMO and complete JOMO :) As a result, I only spend time with a handful of people close to me who enrich my life. So much better for my time, mind and soul.
I cannot believe we are almost in May. I need to move fast on my finalizing my focus list so I can move the needle on some of goals by the end of the year.
What are you going to focus on for the rest of the year? Tell me in the comments or hit reply! I would love to know.
Love,
Abha x