Navigating the chaos of back to school and work
Let's stop stressing and give our kids what they need.
I don’t know about you, but I am so happy that this week is over!
Getting the kids back to school after a long summer break amidst the chaos of their new schedules, staggered timings, and volatile emotions, is no small feat.
Cheers to all of you who have been able to get your kids to go back to school, even if with drama.
It’s my son’s first year at big school and I’ve had to bribe him with TV and candy at breakfast to get him out of the door. There is an automatic stop of tears and immediate compliance when He-Man and lollipops come into the equation.
My sole goal this week has been to get the kids to school, and if I have to bribe them, so be it. I want to make it clear that not going, is not an option.
In parallel, two projects of freelance work have kicked in for me full steam ahead, which I am super grateful for. I’m really enjoying planning my own day and have been lucky to already start work on some interesting projects.
I’m still getting my freelance act and routine together: working hours, rates, turn around times, payment terms, budgeting and accounting.
So it’s been a hectic and mentally heavy first week back, I’m sure for you too.
Here are some things that have helped me minimize the angst and get through it:
It’s okay if you need to bend the rules for the first few weeks: Honestly, the first weeks back at school with early starts; new uniforms; new teachers and friends; new extra curricular activities and not to mention the horrific heat in Dubai, I don’t think we can expect our kids to fully embrace the set-up with smiley faces, especially if they are small. Add to that, a sudden strict routine, no TV and no treats, is a recipe for rebellion.
Let them ease in. ‘Do what you need to, to make the first few weeks of school as easy and enjoyable as possible’ - has been my mantra this week. Even if that means a wee bribe here and there.
We are often too hard on ourselves and of course do not want to raise bratty children, but making our kids comfortable at a time which is quite difficult for them as they have to readjust, is likely to do more good than harm. The rules can come back in gradually.
Cut the school some slack: Hear me out. In Dubai, we pay a lot for our kids to go to school. With that comes an unspoken demand that everything should be perfect. And, it usually isn’t. I’ve had some situations this week that I have dealt with angry, and others, with grace. The response of the situations I have dealt with being angry just got worse. The ones where I stayed calm though firm and even understanding, faired much better for me, my kid and the relationship I have with the school. Let’s believe that everyone is trying their best.
Keep the kids busy: Here in Dubai, the smaller kids have shorter hours this week and next. Dubai is hot, and I need to work. There is only that many jigsaws and that that much colouring they can do. Play dates are a great way to keep your kids busy in the extra hours they have. They are easy to organize and free!
Put your to do list aside, especially these first weeks back: As I start my own projects and structure my new work routine, my to do list is huge. And I feel so behind.
Ryan Holiday from the Daily Dad sent an email this week that really hit home (although I don’t like the title of the email):
“Yes, you’ve got places to go. You’ve got emails to respond to. You were hoping to get a workout in today. […] So, when your kid is dragging their feet getting ready, when they ask for another drink of water, another story, when they sneak out of their bedroom after you’ve already tucked them in, when you have to go back to the house because they forgot something…it’s frustrating.”
This is when you need to remember that:
“You’re already tired. You’ve been late a million times. You’re so far behind on email that you’ll never catch up. So stop stressing and give your kids what they need. Slow down. Don’t rush them. Don’t neglect them. If they need an extra hug, if they want you to stay with them until they fall asleep.
In the end, you’ll remember the time you stuck around to make sure school drop off went well, not that you were the first one to arrive at the meeting. Your relationship will be built–solidly–around the fact that you always made the necessary time for them, not that you conquered your daily to-do list.”
How are you coping with the juggle between back to school and work? Leave a comment or hit reply, I’d love to hear from you.
Wishing you all a great school term.
Love,
Abha