Do less to be more

The best advice that has taken me too long to follow.

This post is inspired by friend, mum of 3 and personal trainer / nutrition coach Jennifer. She is older (you won’t believe it!) and in the best shape of her life mentally, physically and spiritually.

I had a call with her recently and asked her what I needed to do to grow older, better.

And she said: You need to do less, Abha.

And it all came together.

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Me and Jennifer, too long ago!

Ever since I went full time on my “side-hustle” where I help working mums and female entrepreneurs use Ai tools to work better and faster, subconsciously I have been saying ‘no’ to anything that is outside that purpose.

On saying no to non-aligned work opportunities…

It’s not easy to say no to work and opportunities, especially when you are starting out.

Especially in the beginning, it feels like you’re missing out on both growth and income.

We come from a culture and upbringing where you are told that you need to do more to be more, and to work more to make more. That mindset is hard to shift.

My first big “NO”

My first big “no” was when I decided that I was not going to take on any more freelance work. I did it for 6 months after I quit my job, only to be burnt out and working more than a 9-5. Although the money was good, that is not what I signed up for when I quit my full time job!

It took some courage to be able to let go as it would mean I would no longer have a decent income for a while.

Although it meant a loss of significant income, it meant I could prioritise my own ‘side-hustle’ to make it into a business that fulfils me and makes me an income whilst giving me the freedom to manage my own time.

Thinking hard about what I really want in the long term…

I was only able to say no because after burning the midnight oil working on high-paying freelance work, I sat with myself to understand, what is it that I really want for myself in the long term?

• I want to never have to go back to a 9-5.

• I want to have the freedom to plan my schedule around my life and my kids, so I can look after myself and be there for my family.

• I never want to be reliant on an ‘employer’ of any kind for an income.

• I want to make money, doing something that is of value and lights me up!

• I want to have the time and energy to look after myself as I get older.

And that’s when I realised two things…

• Some short term income and instant validation activities had to be sacrificed.

• I had to work on my mindset and my energy. This meant I needed to work on what I need to do to be my highest self, and protect my energy for what matters the most.

I know the practical steps I need to take to move the needle on my business.

I have consumed copious amounts of information in the form of courses, workshops and mentorship to realise that I am at a point where I need to stop consuming, and start taking action.

However, to be able to continue to take inspired action, I needed to be able to maintain a mindset that permitted it and over time.

I needed to learn to stay focused and stable, yet motivated and excited to ride the rollercoaster that is solopreneurship.

And the truth is, there is no how.

There is no one way to do things to succeed. If there was, everyone would be doing it.

However, we can be on the path to getting where we want to, by:

• Not wasting time doing things that do not move the needle in the long run.

• Not depleting our energy on things that don’t fuel our body, mind or energy.

• Eliminating any distraction from our lives that no longer serves our long term mission.

Yes, easier said than done, but with a bit of practice and patience, you will see the difference in the way you feel and how you are able to pour into what matters most to you.

When your husband catches you at the Golden Hour :)

So some cardinal rules that I am trying to adhere to…

• Unless it’s a “hell yes” it’s a “hell no!” This is key to conserving energy for what really matters.

• Focus on creating before I consume (eg on social media, courses, talks).

• Taking breaks for my mind and body when I start feeling any tension or stress so that I can take a step back to reset.

• Taking enough breaks! I’m always on full speed ahead, so trying hard to slow down to speed up.

• Detaching myself from outcomes so I don’t blame myself for not getting the results I desire at a certain point in time, and knowing fully that I did everything I could.

• Taking the lessons from my actions to do them better next time rather than beating myself up over what could’ve been done better - easier said than done, but such a relief to think this way.

• Realising that our worth is not destroyed by not getting the results exactly when we expect them!

• Realising that good things take time and the importance of enjoying the journey because it’s a continuous one.

• That we always need to work on our internal dialogue as that is the only thing that will help us stay in the game. Entrepreneurship is 90% mindset.

A few thoughts to leave you with…

So if you are feeling overwhelmed by your todo list, have a look at it and see what you can cross off.

What is it that you really do not need to be doing, or that you feel you ‘have to do’, and cross it off.

There so many things we do, especially as working mums, to ‘not feel guilty’, or to ‘be a good friend’ or to feel accomplished, but the truth is that we often end up doing those things at our own expense.

So let’s take the rest of the year to do less, focus on what really matters and let’s feel ourselves thriving.

With love,

Abha

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PS: In other news on my side-hustle going mainstream :)…

Doors to my live group coaching programme on how to create content at scale are now open! Check out the Ai Brand & Content Lab if this interests you <3 It’s the only such programme our there that combines teaching you how to scale your written content and your designs.